OH CANADA!

CANADIAN ZOMBIE INVASION JUST A HOAX

Uncertainty hangs no more. The Canadians are alive and well dear readers, rumors of the zombie apocolypse were greatly exaggerated, according to this reporter's inside source.

Per one local resident, an esteemed author and founder of the Coalition Against Rappers, the "zombie hoard" was nothing more than the disasterous consequence of pairing the High School Chess Club with legalized marijuana.

The unfortunate students were simply acting out the last two chess games of the legendary Bobby Fisher. The fact that the town square is black and white marble replicating the Harlequin style only contributed to the confusion that local law enforcement would eventually term "zombie hopscotch".

The teens are currently attending NA meetings and playing checkers until it is deemed safe for local residents.

The draft horse that pulled the town trolley for tourists is still missing however. There is a two thousand dollar reward for any information leading to its whereabouts and safe return.

Illyria Taylor, Sr. Reporter ; The Skeptic's Newspaper

Take It Away, Tuesday:

Uncertainty hangs.

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Comment by alisa rynay haller on October 8, 2011 at 2:52pm: (nobody will until somebody does the spinoff...I think it was Colonel Mustard, tho evidence points more to Mrs. White)

Comment by Jeanette Cheezum on October 6, 2011 at 10:02pm: I'm actually going to try to get some sleep. But, I thought I would come back and say good night.

Comment by alisa rynay haller on October 6, 2011 at 9:50pm: Hey there fellow night owl!

Comment by Jeanette Cheezum on October 6, 2011 at 9:45pm: or two.

Comment by alisa rynay haller on October 6, 2011 at 9:23pm: Ok, somebody do this for real and post it on Youtube so J and I can get a laugh!

Comment by Jeanette Cheezum on October 5, 2011 at 5:53pm: Zombie Hopscotch. Now that's a visual.

Comment by alisa rynay haller on October 5, 2011 at 2:07pm: aaahhh, that would explain the missing draft horse. haha

Or are you my inside source?

Or the constable....I did neglect to mention the PARENT the kids got it from...Spin off!

Comment by Coraline J. Thompson on October 4, 2011 at 7:13pm: ROTFL, we so need to get back to the skeptics newspaper... its been dormant too long!!!

Comment by alisa rynay haller on October 4, 2011 at 6:15pm: LMAO..damn Travis you are FAST! Inside joke for a couple of our writing buddies. thanx for catching it.

Comment by Travis Smith on October 4, 2011 at 6:12pm: Very clever - stoned chess players acting out Fisher's last game in the town square...I can see the confusion with Zombies.