I've been told before that when I chew gum I get an attitude.  I'm not sure this is true.  Honestly, I always have attitude; it is just well hidden under all the southern graces.  But maybe chewing gum does bring it out in me.  I don't know.  I do know "the Martha," my mother, despises chewing gum.  I'll never forget the Sunday we came home from church and she complained.

"I just couldn't concentrate on the sermon today with that Pam sitting up there just smacking her gum." The Martha then paused to demonstrate. "I mean, she was Miss Alabama.  You'd think they would have taught her how unladylike that is."

I like gum.  Chewing gum helps me to work off nervous energy when it begins to build up in the back of my brain.  There is only so much leg jiggling one can do, especially if others are sitting at the same table.  And in church, no one wants to share a pew with a leg-jiggler.  So sometimes I chew gum for something to do.  Sometimes I chew it because I really hate to have bad breath when people are around.  And church is a place where bad breath is a bad thing.  Like standing next to Coffee Woman in choir.  I'd offer he some gum, but then the Martha wouldn't be able to concentrate on the sermon.

Maybe there is something to this whole gum-attitude idea.  I mean, remember that scene at the end of Grease, where Sandy decides that the best way to win Danny is to turn herself into a tart?  I'm pretty sure she was shewing gum.  And Rizzo chewed gum all the time.  Rizzo.....hmmm, not sure why the Martha was so upset about my gum.  I mean, there are worse things I could do.  yeah, that pun was intended.  I'd suggest you laugh.

And did I mention I'm chewing gum right now?