When you find yourself all dressed up to do your laundry, you’ve obviously put it off for too long.  My laundry room requires a key that I lost a couple of months ago. I’ve searched in all the obvious and not so obvious places for that very important laundry key.  It is stamped with the “Do Not Duplicate” law; I call it law because all of the local locksmiths treat it as such.

I have to hope that someone is doing laundry when I carry my dirty clothes there.  More often than not, I carry them back dirty.  So once again, I find my laundry bags and the new laundry bags full and I’m wearing a suit to the laundry room.

Today I’m in luck. The door is open, but the washers are all in use so I pretend to sort my clothes, but really, what is the criterion by which one sorts?  And that is a helluva way to phrase a question about laundry, certainly more than it deserves. So I sort everything into two piles.  A right pile and a left pile.  Much like dealing cards from a shuffled deck.  Arbitrary and random unless one knows how to cheat at clothes.

I head back home noting the time so that I can return for the wet laundry and take the second step in the process.  That is, if I can get back in the laundry room.  I check my pockets to make sure I have the key to get back into my home. 

The pockets in my suit are deeper than my jeans.  For that matter, I think they are deeper than any of my trousers.  I’m purposely using the word “trousers” for my UK friends as I discovered that pants are underpants in the UK.  I won’t go into that story but suffice to say it was trés embarrassing.

Where was I, oh yeah, getting the key to my front door, deep pockets, and I forget the rest.  The house key was deep in my left pocket.  I  keep it in my right pocket so I’ll always know where it is, so I was surprised to find it in my left pocket.  I opened the door and dropped the key in my right pocket, meaning - correct pocket.  I heard a clink.  I pulled out the house key and reached back into my pocket to find…  stop getting ahead of me… Okay, you are right... I found the laundry key.   Oh happy day!